Torn!

I love Bright Eyes, to be blunt.

I have been waiting for such a long time for some tour dates to be revealed in a display of awe and wonder.

I bought NME this week, after disowning it for several weeks because it just doesn't cover enough music (it's always the same people) but I bought it after my Mum was going "Kings Of Leon are on the cover!" - Good God.

And lo and behold, there were CONOR OBERST TOUR DATES OF AWE AND WONDER and I squeed in the car, gaining several disturbed looks from fellow passengers.

Imagine my sheer horror when I saw the date. Manchester - 28th August.

I AM AWAY ON THIS FRIGGIN' DATE.

The disappointment and sadness that I now feel ;_;

What's more is that it would be the day before my birthday and it could have been a birthday outing :(

Alas, I have no luck whatsoever. No, wait. I have pots of luck but it's all of the "bad" variety.

I leave you with one profound statement:

ARGH.

Oh, and a Picture Of Teh Pretty (because Kat complained about a lack of picture-y goodness on a former post :P )
I'm putting three pictures, in fact, to cheer me up somewhat and to brighten up this so-called blog. It's actually a hovel in disguise.






Here are some Beirut/ Zach Condon pictures too. I have no idea how these are related but they brings Happiness.

And love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

I love this song. I love Jeff Buckley's version. But then I heard this. It's the Beirut version, which has to be my favourite version. Zach Condon has the most amazing, beautiful voice and coupled with this song *sigh*.

Here's a video (not the best quality, sorry ^_^ ).


Clickeh For The Link Of Loveliness

Maybe I Should Just Sing This...

I heard you're scheming new pyramids
Another big idea to get you rich
Make a plan to ravish me sometime soon

You said you had your foot in the door
You buy and then you sell, you buy some more
Make a plan to ravish me sometime soon

Life is too short
Death doesn't ask
It don't owe you that

Some things you lose
You don't get back
So just know what you have
And make a plan to ravish me sometime soon

First you want to ride off into the sun
Then you want to shoot straight to the moon
Make a plan to ravish me sometime soon

When you are young the world is a ferris wheel
I know we will grow old it is lovely, still
Make a plan to ravish me sometime soon

Life is too short
To be a fool
I don't owe you that

Do what you feel
Whatever is cool
But I just have to ask
Will you make a plan to ravish me?
Will you make a plan to ravish me?
Will you make a plan to ravish me sometime soon?



;)

Ooh, looky here!

I've had a busy past couple of days really, which is super good considering the fact that the past two months have been critically marred by teh existance of exams. Alas! They are finished and I we have one week left in school to do absolutely nothing of great importance.

Friday:
Any chance to miss 6th form is good news to me (apart from not being with my beloved wife). Anyhoos, I was off looking around Manchester Uni. I thought that I shan't go to Manchester, even though it's meant to be a really good university, because I live 15-20 minutes down the road. :D I think the Open Day has changed my mind slightly. It was really good and friendly and although the German person was slightly boring, the Linguistics lady was really groovy and interesting; she was from Boston, so it gave a different outlook on language and linguistics, which was good. :)
Also, and I never really realised this particularly before, but Manchester is an incredible city. Everything happens here. :)
Seeing as though every first year is guarenteed accomodation, I thought that if I did go to that Uni, I could still move out. I'd be close to home but still be independant and not tied down by my mother. Besides, I've always looked forward to having somewhere that I can call and make my own.

Friday Night:
Me and Becky toodled down to the Backdoor Project in Rochdale, which I've never been to before, to go to the final heat of Battle Of The Bands. To be honest, I did go because a certain someone was in one of the bands, but hey! The other bands were like heavy metal/hardcore/thrash bands, which isn't quite my cup of tea but I like all live music. :) Becky liked the first singer's hair XD. The place is quite cool - all under-18s, the majority of whom seemed to be goth-emo wannabes, including a gay vampire and there was added stripping off. I'm sure you would have loved it. :P The place is tiny too, which I like :) And then his band came on. I recognised a lot of teh songs, either from the gig or from sent songs or just songs I like. Me and Becky did some particularly groovy dancing :D. He was really sweet too - talking to us and stoof and asking what we thought :D :D And then they won that heat - which was fantastic :D (I'm abusing smilies here). The final is on July 4th. Come with me and Becky!
Also, we had to sign forms and we got free tickets for next week because they're filming the gig for a channel 4 documentary called "This Is Britain". Should be good! Me and Becky will be famous :P

To sum up last night in one phrase: All shades of awesomeness. *nods*

Saturday:
I went to the Open Day at Leeds today. It's a bit different because although it's in the city centre, it isn't really. Just to the side, methinks, so we didn't actually see the city which was a bit disappointing. It's all a bit concrete too, well a couple of the buildings. I guess we only saw a bit of it so maybe I'm biased. However, the german course seemed really good and the Halls are really lovely :)
The Student's Union is possibly amazing. It's huge and has loads of stuff e.g. 250+ societies, 3 nightclub spaces, loads of cafes, shops, bookshops etc. etc. Th Refectory in teh Union is amazng too. It's the eating place during the day but they hold gigs there too. All around the walls, they have boards and displays about all the bands that have ever played tehre since the 1970s including Pink Floyd, Barclay James Harvest, Led Zeppelin, Captain Beefheart, The Kinks, The Clash. It's really awesome. My mum was going "Ooh, we're on hallowed ground here!" XD

And I was Emma (and her dog) and the twins! I missed Keiran though.

That's it for now...Sorry if it's a tad boring. This is possibly the longest post I have ever done XD

Quote of the Week:

Mum: You don't have any roots. You're not a northener, you're not a southener and you're not German.
Me: You make me sound like a wandering gypsy nomad.
Mum: Well, you dress like one.

XD

Bonus Unrelated Picture:

!

Oh, I'm looking forward to Becky's fancy-dress thing that happening soon!

But what to be? What is everybody else going as?


On another note, the tension is building up and up and up...

Noah's ark came to my house one day with all the animals and he took me away.

If You Don't Like Rants - Look Away Now!

To be honest, I have teh kind of personality which means that I rarely ever speak my mind. I don't like the potential fuss that my comments would unearth and so I do teh worse thing of bottling everything up inside of me. And then it gets to the point (which has been around the past couple of days) where I feel that I cn't take it anymore and I feel frustrated and "depressed" even. God, if I could just blurt everything out perhaps everything would be easier but unfortunately for me, I can't.

And I am really sorry to everyone if I've seemed distant or down or downright strange these past few days. I think it's escalated due to the fact that after all the exams, I still have to go back to school and work right up until the end of the year. I feel tired and stressed. I really am sorry.

So here it goes. This is the rant: this is me venting out some of the things that I can't keep in any longer. Seriously, ignore it if you will. I advise it. It's probably all shades of boring to anybody who reads it and it's probably tedious too but you know how I am.

Rant.

First of all. I don't feel like a proper teenager in some sense of the word. My Mum continually treats me like a child. She doesn't seem to understand what being a teenager is like. That also sounds incredibly cliched too. To be fair, I think she doesn't want me to grow up but it makes me feel restricted and limited. She doesn't make feel as if I can be independant even though she knows perfectly well that I can be. Also, I feel under pressure all the time from her to do everything and to be everything. I've told her I didn't want to go to Oxbridge and when I told her that they didn't do the course, I felt like I had disappointed her.

Secondly (and I know that this will sound incredibly stupid) but I feel like a loser. I know it's stupid. I feel as if people don't take me seriously at school. People see me as someone else who I know isn't who I actually am. Our year seem to have a preconceived notion of who I and are too ignorant to even see through this persona that other people have constructed on my behalf. Even when I'm working in groups with
other people, they all talk amonst themselves or serve to patronise me. It's incredibly irritating.

I also get the feeling that quite a few people just don't like me for whatever reason. When I smile at people, they just don't smile back anymore. Or is it just that everyone's grumpy nowadays?

Linked to the above point (kind of), I am frustrated about the fact that I seem to repel anybody who happens to be male. I know that this whole idea of Proactiveness was meant to be affirming and something to work for but it's all been a bit fruitless. To be honest, I am a self-confessed romantic and what I am looking for is something that doesn't exist. As Kat so painfully pointed out, I'm looking for a guy that doesn't exist. I don't believe in a Perfect Guy but I'm looking for my perfect guy, flaws and all. As strange as it is, I like flaws - people are so mmuch more beautiful with flaws.

In addition to this I am very shy. Even if I like somebody, I never have the courage to tell them, probably for fear of rejection, which would crush me. This has possibly been the bane of so-called Proactiveness. If I was confident, I could probably tell him. Maybe I should do it but then I wouldn't know how to do it. He thinks I'm an idiotic loser anyway. And it's always nice to find out that the whole year knows who I like - not what I wanted at all.

If you probably hadn't guessed already, I have pretty low self-esteem. My shyness hasn't helped. I don't like the way I look at all and find it awkward when people say things to me regarding how I look. Being called "ugly" for a couple of years doesn't help or that "I should weigh myself" - which two charming boys told me to do a couple of weeks ago. The reflection that I see is what I think other people see of me and henceforth, I belive that no one "likes" me.

I'm going to stop now because this post is excruciatingly long and tedious. This isn't everything and I probably haven't explained it too well at all to anybody who is reading this. Maybe I'll feel a bit better now.

Oh Dear.

I think I am actually destined for bad luck.

Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

1. My horoscope was perfect
2. I felt optimistic
3. I probably may have done soemthing I would regret but I would have been happy doing it and therefore it doesn't matter.

However,

Nothing ever works out as I plan it to.

*Le sigh*

They Do Say We Need 5 A Day

Do these count?




And for a treat or two?




Found here - http://www.lunacyboutique.co.uk

Fate Or Just An Unlucky Coincidence

So I set my iTunes to shuffle.

First song - "No One's Gonna Love You" (Band Of Horses)
Second song - "Love Will Tear Us Apart" (Joy Division)
Third song - "Nothing Came Out" (Moldy Peaches)



I think it's trying to tell me something.

Six Months On...

...And I am giving up Proactiveness.

I don't want to be a captain of some sinking ship.

Thank you my dear Moldy Peaches for soundtracking my struggle.


It's not you, it's me.